Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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