I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
