And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize