I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
