That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
