Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
