I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
