"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You may now shotgun with the bride
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
