ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
