RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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