Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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