Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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