I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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