Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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