They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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