a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
