so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
