youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We had sex on a dog bed..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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