Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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