I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
