I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
