guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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