theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
