She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my poor anus
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
