I look better un-naked...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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