Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
