I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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