Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can tuck mytits in my pants
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
