took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
