tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
