Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We don't watch enough power rangers
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i've created a new STD.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
