i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
