I wanna bring you to show and tell
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
