She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my vag is so smooth its legendary
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
