4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
