"it" just moved
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
