i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
