WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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