somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
