I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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