I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
