I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
