Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
