Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
