I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
