why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
