i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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