I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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