life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
