yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
is that a dick in a sweater?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
